I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
