how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
