I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
