You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
