Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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