so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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