Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
