I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
birth control should be required to get into college
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
