I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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