Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
