But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize