just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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