oh god the rape fog is back!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize