I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
