Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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