His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
