You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Semen is not good for contacts.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
