IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
