you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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