So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
