Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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