well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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