This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize