I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
