Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize