Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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