this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Randomize
