Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
