Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
