Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
