I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize