Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
