he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
