i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
