so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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