Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
