shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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