i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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