i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You need a sexual gate keeper
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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