Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
