what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize
