need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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