Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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