This is not my ceiling
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
