Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
