im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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