I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
