Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize