Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
