I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
