Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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