did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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