with your own penis?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
