In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
