There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
