We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
