Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize