Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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